I remember the exact moment I decided to go “all in.”
It was the same day that in the morning I told someone, who I had allowed to string me along for far too long, not to call anymore.
Later, in perhaps the most inappropriate setting for a serious conversation, a summer concert festival, I found myself telling my new person things that for others had previously been a deal breaker. I was certain he would walk away, but instead he shrugged it off and continued to hold my hand.
I had a hunch about him, and he was proving me right. He was someone I felt safe with the moment I met him. That night, we stood within in an inch of each other, listening to my favorite band, and I knew this thing between us was different and worth a chance.
This is why to this day, whenever I hear the Lumineers it reminds me of him.
“Put down your phones and just be with me.”
When I saw the Lumineers for the second time, this is what they asked of their audience mid song “Ho Hey.” And, then they waited until everyone’s phones were away.
I may never forget that moment nor what happened next.
When I heard that the Lumineers were coming back to town I bought tickets the minute they went on sale. Yes, with the thought of “him” and that first concert. Unfortunately, by the time the concert rolled around, we were not in each others lives which meant my 9-month pregnant sister was there to stand in, in the rain, and help me hold it together.
When they asked the crowd to be in that moment and then proceeded to play “Ho Hey” in a slowed tempo, I just lost it. I cried and couldn’t stop it. That moment was so perfect and I was so angry at him, for not being there and for not being in my life.
Aside from those moments of frustrations and tears, the concert was amazing; the set, their music, the location. It was absolutely perfect and even more so because of the downpour. It was an evening I will never forget. Although it was a night planned with him in mind, I am so thankful my 9-month pregnant sister was there instead. With a baby on the way we won’t have many more nights together —just the two of us — and I want to make sure to treasure our time together.
Plus…, no one else is allowed to laugh at me when I lose my composure and start crying under twinkle lights in the rain. That right is strictly saved for big sisters.