Go First

April 18, 2016

A friend and I were, you guessed it, talking about vulnerability and she described it as the “willingness to go first.” That description immediately resonated with me and I realized I was surrounded by vulnerability artifacts.

  • It was on my vision board made months ago
  • It was in the Brene Brown video by saying the first “I love you”
  • It was in advice from another friend who told me you can’t ask someone to put themselves out there if you yourself are not willing to be out there

I had an interaction not too long ago where I did not go first and the conversation was quickly going downhill fast. The person was being defensive and (over) protective of themselves and taking us down a direction that had the potential to be really hurtful. It is in that type of situation that interrupting is highly encouraged, so I interrupted and I opened up. Instead of having the person put themselves out there first and set the tone, I shared. By doing so, I gave them a peek into who I am by giving them a part of myself. I didn’t get anything in return but our time together drastically changed and neither of us walked away feeling less than or cheated. I would even venture to say we both walked away feeling better than when we walked in.

More than just the willingness to go first, vulnerability is walking in the confidence that no one may go second and that is totally okay.

Vulnerability is the purest form of generosity. It is saying you willingly give a part of yourself asking for nothing in return.

This is my journey, a ridiculously hard one. But I am starting to see just why I am on it.

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