I am no stranger to change. Almost like clockwork my life has been uprooted in some way every 7 years. It was never easy but it taught me to be highly adaptable.
About a month ago I found myself facing transition again – my 7 year trend became a 2 year cycle. As you might remember, a few years ago I left my job in corporate America to join an advertising agency as a strategy consultant for brands. It was what 20-year-old Dani would call her “dream job.” I got to work in a creative office with extremely fun coworkers and drive strategy on a few of the most well-known brands in the world.
With this job, I found myself in a season of busyness. I was traveling anywhere from 50-100% of the time. I had about 48 hours each week to fit in as much Home as possible and then it was back on the road. Life was the opposite of normal or stable.
As much as it was fast-moving and stressful, it provided some of the most amazing experiences and opportunities. More than I’d like to admit, I had different dates in different cities in a week’s span. There was no point in grocery shopping as I was always on the go. I racked up airline miles that could get me to Italy and back, twice. I created projects with my team that I will forever be proud of and a few that won some big awards.
It was fun but it was not sustainable.
You see, that’s the funny thing about dream jobs. Dreams change.
When I switched jobs a month ago I didn’t think it would be that much of a transition. Apparently the only person I was fooling was myself.
In a single moment, I had to re-learn how to live. How to have real relationships that weren’t rooted in Google Hangout chat. How to take care of myself with cooking at home and going to the gym. How to accept that since I am no longer in a constant run, it may get lonely. Very lonely.
And that, in truth, has been the hardest part. The quietness. When life goes back to being normal.
I haven’t given myself enough grace. I didn’t plan for this state of transition and I’ve been in denial that there is one. Instead, I would get disappointed with myself when I didn’t have it all figured out.
I had this moment after an evening that would have made Martha Stewart proud where I realized “I can do this!” Life is going to look different and it is going to take time. (I really need to work on that grace thing.)
But I am slowly learning how to be human again. I know, without hesitation, this is right where I am supposed to be.