It is amazing how one word can get your attention so easily.
I don’t have any shame in talking about my experience with Tinder but aside from recommending it to single friends, the details of my experiences have been shared only with my family and friends. I may have had a positive experience but it still comes with pre conceived notions of casual sex and playing the field. That may have been what the app was originally created for but it is no longer limited to those encounters.
This post is about my experiences with Tinder in hopes of normalizing it.
First, let’s set a baseline… Tinder is basically a dating / connections app that lets a person make immediate decisions on whether or not you are attracted to a person. If you are attracted (and swipe right) and they feel the same about you, then you are matched and can proceed to chat and get together as little or as much as you want.
Yes but… a picture is worth a thousand words. Let alone 5. Tinder doesn’t try to be anything it’s not. It doesn’t make you answer a questionnaire or fill out 100 boxes. It lets you reveal who you are in the pictures you post and the bio that you write. Eharmony, Match, Ok Cupid… they may sell themselves as providing something more but if we were all honest with ourselves, we would admit that the first impression is what ignites interest.
I was on Tinder from February to August of this year.
During that time I went on 33 first dates and had roughly 76 dates total. I say roughly because I stopped counting towards the end.
It is the equivalent of one first date a week. Of those 33 men that I went on a date with… I only regret dating one of them.
To be clear, there were some BAD dates. But these bad dates… they make great stories and we all know I date for the stories.
Even with the bad or awkward dates, most were good. Some were even REALLY good.
For the most part I met gentlemen who I wouldn’t normally meet and yet we connected enough to make it through an evening and with some, quite a few evenings. There is even a handful that I remained friends with once we mutually agreed it wasn’t a romantic match.
I know my experience isn’t universal. But I recommend Tinder because it takes the relationship off of online and encourages connecting in real life. I don’t want to spend weeks getting to know someone through a computer only to find it is a bust once we are in person. Who has that kind of time and emotional energy to waste?
If you are single and have been too nervous to try the app here are my recommendations for success:
1. Choose pictures that show who you really are.
Don’t be staged or too perfect. Just be you.
2. Of those pictures – keep your clothes on.
Sure, you may look great in a bikini but by staying clothed (and clothed like you are at dinner with your parents) will help weed out the guys who are looking for instant gratification.
3. Don’t leave your bio blank!
Writing a little bit about who you are will help guys to spark a conversation as well as rule out people who are not interested. I included my faith because it is significant to who I am and also helped match with people who are a better fit for me.
4. Like “Will Smith” on Facebook.
Seriously, this is my secret weapon. It leads to great conversation.
Just try it. 30 days.
Let me know your experience. If it isn’t working, I have 30 great guys I have already vetted for a match make with you.
Images courtesy of DesignLoveFest.